The Day Kaki Maa Became Mother and Kaku Became Father: A Story of Love, Community, and Our First Jamai Shashthi in Bengal

"Family is not always defined by blood. Sometimes, it is defined by those who choose to stand beside us when life leaves an empty chair at the table."

On 20th June 2026, my wife Suchandra and I celebrated our first Jamai Shashthi after our marriage on 4th March 2026. For many Bengali families, Jamai Shashthi is a cherished annual tradition marked by rituals, family gatherings, laughter, and elaborate meals. For us, however, it became much more than a cultural observance. It became a profound reminder that even in a rapidly changing world, there are communities that continue to uphold the timeless values of affection, solidarity, and human connection.

The memories of the day will remain with us for the rest of our lives, not because of the food that was served or the rituals that were performed, but because of the love that surrounded us.

The Cultural Significance of Jamai Shashthi

Jamai Shashthi occupies a special place in Bengali Hindu culture. Celebrated on the sixth tithi of the bright fortnight (Shukla Paksha) of the month of Joishtho, it is a day dedicated to strengthening family bonds. Traditionally, married daughters and their husbands are invited to the daughter's parental home. The mother-in-law performs Shashthi Puja, seeking the blessings of Goddess Shashthi for the well-being, prosperity, and fertility of her daughter and son-in-law.

The son-in-law, affectionately called the "Jamai," is treated as an honoured guest and served a grand feast prepared with love and care. The day is often accompanied by family reunions, blessings from elders, and moments of shared happiness.

The origins of the festival lie in an earlier era when daughters were often married far away from their parental homes. Travel was difficult, expensive, and time-consuming. Parents seldom had opportunities to meet their daughters after marriage. Jamai Shashthi evolved as a social institution that ensured regular family reunions and maintained emotional bonds between married daughters and their natal families.

The ritual, therefore, carries a deeper meaning. At its heart, Jamai Shashthi is not about the son-in-law alone. It is about preserving relationships, reaffirming affection, and reminding daughters that they continue to remain an inseparable part of their parental home.

The Void Left by Loss

For Suchandra and me, our first Jamai Shashthi came with a unique emotional context.

Suchandra is the only child of her parents. Her father, Shri Sankarnath Mukherjee, passed away in 2009. The loss was devastating, but she found strength in the loving care and guidance of her mother, Smt. Bharati Mukherjee.

Then, in 2024, tragedy struck again.

She lost her mother.

With her mother's passing, Suchandra lost not only a parent but also her closest companion, guide, and source of emotional strength. The absence of both parents inevitably created a void that no one could truly replace.

She continues to be blessed with loving relatives. Her paternal aunt and uncle have always stood by her. However, this year they themselves were coping with an unimaginable tragedy, the loss of their own son. Understandably, they were not in a position to host our first Jamai Shashthi.

Her maternal uncle and aunt also remained affectionate and concerned. Yet age and health-related challenges prevented them from travelling from Barrackpore to Ranaghat to organise the occasion.

As the festival approached, a quiet question lingered in our minds.

Who would host our first Jamai Shashthi?

The Daughter of an Entire Neighbourhood

The answer came not from relatives but from a community.

Suchandra grew up in Sidhanto Para in Ranaghat, a historic town in Nadia district of West Bengal. She spent her childhood there, attended school there, built friendships there, and developed bonds that have endured over decades.

Over the years, the people of the locality came to regard her not merely as a neighbour but as one of their own. To some, she was a daughter; to others, a sister; to many, a cherished member of an extended social family.

This sense of belonging is perhaps one of the most beautiful aspects of Bengali social life. Even today, many Bengali neighbourhoods function not merely as residential spaces but as living communities bound together by shared experiences, mutual support, and emotional investment in one another's lives.

Among the many people who have stood beside Suchandra throughout her journey is her school classmate, Partha Singha.

Their friendship has always carried the warmth of a sibling relationship. To Partha Ji, Suchandra has never been merely a friend. She has always been his sister.

And perhaps because of that, the possibility of Suchandra spending her first Jamai Shashthi without parental affection was simply unacceptable.

Kaki Maa and Kaku Step Forward

What happened next touched our hearts in ways that words can scarcely capture.

Partha Ji's parents-in-law, Shri Achintya Kumar Mondal and Smt. Meera Mondal graciously invited us to celebrate our first Jamai Shashthi with them.

What may appear to an outsider as a simple gesture was, in reality, an extraordinary act of love.

On that day, Kaki Maa prepared a lavish meal with her own hands. Every dish reflected affection rather than obligation. Every preparation carried the warmth that only a mother can offer.

Kaku welcomed us with equal warmth. He ensured that we were fed generously and comfortably, constantly expressing concern about whether we had eaten enough.

As Suchandra and I sat before them, receiving their blessings, we felt something profoundly moving.

For a few precious hours, the absence of Suchandra's parents faded into the background.

Kaki Maa became her mother.

Kaku became her father.

The ritual remained the same, but its emotional significance deepened beyond measure.

They were under no social obligation to do what they did.

They chose to do it out of love.

And that made all the difference.

A Wedding That Revealed the Spirit of Community

Our experience during Jamai Shashthi was not an isolated incident.

In fact, it reflected the same spirit that had defined our wedding earlier in March 2026.

Suchandra and I chose to have a simple wedding conducted according to traditional Bengali rituals. Yet despite its simplicity, the ceremony became one of the most memorable events of our lives.

The reason was not extravagance.

It was people.

The residents of Shirish Kunj, where Suchandra owns a flat, and the people of Sidhanto Para embraced the wedding as though it belonged to their own family.

Partha Ji and Sucheta Didi were at the centre of countless arrangements. Their care, guidance, and emotional support were invaluable.

Alongside them stood Pradesh Da and his wife, Abhimanyu Da and his wife, Ganesh Da and Sushmita Didi, Pooja and Amit, Pinaki Didi and her family, and many others.

Each contributed in their own way.

Each invested time and effort without expecting anything in return.

Each helped transform a modest ceremony into an extraordinary celebration.

Friends Who Became Family

Equally touching was the role played by Suchandra's close friends.

Antara Roychoudhury, Ayantika Ghosh-Ganguly, Imon Majumder, Pooja Saha, Haimanti Bhattacharya, Sumona Dasgupta, Parmita Bose, and Moumita Pal stood by her throughout the wedding preparations.

They were not merely friends attending a wedding.

They were sisters standing beside one of their own.

Their affection, encouragement, and participation reflected bonds that had been nurtured over years of friendship and shared experiences.

Watching them interact with Suchandra, I realised that some friendships eventually transcend friendship itself and become family.

The Warmth Extended to a Maharashtrian Groom

As a Maharashtrian marrying into a Bengali family, I was entering a cultural world different from the one in which I had grown up.

Yet at no point did I feel like an outsider.

My mother, brothers, sisters, and other relatives who travelled to Ranaghat experienced the same warmth.

Shri Sureshrao Kulkarni Ji, an RSS Pracharak and a guardian-like figure in my life, attended the wedding and witnessed this remarkable hospitality firsthand.

Dhanu Da and his family, Piku Da, Tapashi Boudi, and their families welcomed members of the groom's side into their homes. They ensured that everyone felt comfortable and cared for.

Pampa Didi, who has been associated with Suchandra's family for nearly twenty years, worked tirelessly to oversee arrangements. Over time, she had ceased to be merely someone who assisted the family. She had become family herself.

Their collective efforts demonstrated that hospitality is not merely about accommodation or food.

It is about making someone feel that they belong.

Beyond Caste, Beyond Boundaries

One aspect of our experience deserves special mention.

People from different social backgrounds participated in our wedding and Jamai Shashthi celebrations with equal enthusiasm and ownership.

What stood out was the absence of visible barriers based on caste or social hierarchy.

People came together not because they belonged to the same social category but because they cared about Suchandra and wished to contribute to her happiness.

In contemporary India, where discussions often focus on divisions and differences, such experiences offer hope.

They remind us that communities can still be built around shared humanity rather than inherited boundaries.

The Real Meaning of Jamai Shashthi

As I reflect on our first Jamai Shashthi, I realise that its true significance lies far beyond ritual.

The festival teaches us that relationships require nurturing.

It reminds us that daughters never cease to belong to their parental homes.

And in our case, it revealed something even more beautiful, that when the biological family is absent, society itself can step forward and fill the void.

Kaki Maa, Kaku, Partha Ji, and Sucheta Didi did not merely host a ritual.

They gave us a memory.

They gave Suchandra the experience of parental affection at a moment when it could easily have been missed.

They transformed a cultural tradition into an emotional blessing.

For that, Suchandra and I shall remain forever grateful.

I came to Ranaghat as a Maharashtrian groom.

The people of Ranaghat embraced me as their Jamai.

And on our first Jamai Shashthi, they taught us a lesson we shall carry throughout our lives:

Blood may create relatives, but love creates family.