On Being One's Own

Having born to a poor farmer who had to struggle every day to meet his family's daily needs, my life so far has been quite a journey. I consider myself a fortunate one as I had the opportunity to study in some of the premiere institutions starting from Ferguson College to Jawaharlal Nehru University. Therefore I, at times, quite confidently say "I haven't come this far to come only this far". Having said that I also understand the responsibility that such lofty statement bears with it. As Henry Wadsworth Longfellow puts in his famous poem "The heights by great men reached and kept were not attained by sudden flight,  but they while their companions slept, were toiling upward in the night". How many joys and sorrows the great men must have engulfed without even celebrating or mourning!

I wonder, once someone reaches such heights by plans and hard work or by sheer chance of luck, for sure the person loses own privacy. Everything comes in the public glare. If one were to travel to a favorite restaurant or a tourist place, he/she would be followed or closely looked at. Such a thing would then kill the joy being to ownself.I believe,  such public figures and celebrities must be missing their prior life when they were none and were recognized by none.

I cherish days so absolutely reserved for myself when I am not supposed to be meeting anyone or not going anywhere for the work that I must do. I fantasize having gone at a quieter place by the side of a river surrounded by dense forests listening to chirping of birds in the trees when I am all alone. None around or at least those who know me are not around,  neither should anybody bother to know who I am or what am I doing. I am roaming around purposelessly on the bank of river or diving deep into dense forests. In the evening I come back home, eat good food and sleep with no worries for tomorrow or the day after. 

But at a time when one is struggling to put ownself at a place from where he/she wouldn't be asked to leave or vacate, can one have such luxury? Then I wonder is it just me who craves for such a luxury? How many must there be who must never have imagined because even imagination is a luxury? Therefore then I am back to the real world that I exist in with worries that lesser mortals are surrounded by.